The #1 question I get asked

Answering my most commonly asked questions, "Why did you create Generative Conflict at Work?"

The #1 question I get asked
Photo by Towfiqu barbhuiya / Unsplash

Well, it's actually the #2 question after "How do you make money?" 😅


Over the past few months, I've been holding calls with potential members of Generative Conflict at Work.

And 99.9% of the time, I am asked some variation of "Why did you create this program?" And here's what it comes down to...

I've been in social change spaces as a community organizer and professional for the better part of a decade.

In many of those spaces, I'd experienced the people who held the most power disregarding relationships and ultimately creating harmful conflict-heavy cultures.

And the people who do value relationships and community, being unsure and unsupported in how to use their influence to help others around conflict.

And I noticed several limitations in what was available to address these issues.

  1. Groups would try to address conflict internally, but the people involved didn't have appropriate resources and just found themselves in countless meetings having the same disagreement over and over again (yikes!).
  2. Groups would hire an external facilitator to hold a handful of workshops sharing conflict management systems, but once the facilitator was gone, the group would fall back into their pattern due to the unaddressed interpersonal conflict.
  3. Individual people would seek out workshops, training, and books to learn about conflict management, but those short-term learning opportunities didn't help them implement what they were learning.
  4. Trauma and negative past experiences color how we approach conflict and groups often don't acknowledge that fact or hold space for multiple complicated truths.
  5. One-on-one and group coaching can be financially inaccessible and getting proper support may take more time than what the facilitator or coach has to offer.

And so I wanted to create a community-held space that people could turn to for ongoing and consistent support. Where they could get affordable access to learning opportunities AND exposure to a wide variety of perspectives - not just my own.

I often sit with the fact that many of us were not taught how to handle conflict or how to create a culture of connection and belonging - especially with people we don't particularly like.

And a lot of us doing community-based work are passionate about creating a future that is good for everyone, but the organizations we try to do this in often struggle with modeling those values internally.

When this happens, progress cannot be made. People who were once passionate and inspired become frustrated and burned out fighting both external and internal systems of power.

And to be fully transparent, my ultimate hope is that bringing people together to think about organizational conflict, will make addressing it in our intimate relationships a whole lot easier.

Because at the end of the day, Loving Practice is about how relationships are THE most crucial element to creating a liberated future.

Conflict doesn't have to be the thing standing in the way of relationships where you are seen and cared for. It can be just the catalyst you need to repair and strengthen your connections.

Our program officially kicks off with a free and public Generative Conflict 101 workshop on February 22nd. After that, those who opt in will gain access to the continued support they need to transform their relationship with conflict.

Thanks for reading!

Kiana